Why Don't You Ask Them
by Rouge Spirit
Summary: I haven't seen anyone do this yet so I'm doing it. I have captured the Straw Hat, Heart and Donquioxte Pirates. Why? So you can ask them questions and watch them utterly embarrass themselves more so than usual. Step inside and ask. They won't hurt you. ( I have them chained anyway) So the one question you should be asking right now is " What am I waiting for?"
1. Chapter 1

**I'm not sure if anyone as done this yet but if I'm the first yay me! Any away I have kidnapped the Strawhat Pirates as well as the Heart and Donquiotxe Pirate and locked them in my basement. I did this because...Oh! It seems like they are waking up. Let's go see our guests shall we.**

" Uggh, where the hell are we?" Zoro groaned as he re entered the realm of consciousness.

" It looks like some sort of basement. But how did we get here? " asked Nami, being the second to wake up.

" Yeah! One second I was kicking Mingo's ass and now we're here! It's a mystery." Luffy gasped

The other Straw Hats and pirates started to wake, accompanied but various groans of complaint and pain.

" What the hell." Law promptly deadpanned. He then eyed Doflamingo. " I bet this is your fault " he growled.

" Me, how on earth could i possibly have the chance to do this if i was fighting that straw hat brat. Also, _Mr. Traflaglar_ if this was my doing, why and how the hell would i bind my crew and myself with seastone cuffs." the bird man snarled.

" It's Trafalgar. I hate to say this but you do have a point. Somewhat."

" I bet that idiot Marimo got us all trapped." Sanji said as he tried to chomp down on a cigarette but to not avail.

" You're probably just pinning the blame for your stupid mistake on me Ero-Cook!" the swordsman shouted.

" Ehhh! How did we get here ? One minute ago we were on Zou!" said Bepo.

" A TALKING BEAR !." Ussop, Chopper and Luffy shouted.

" Sorry." Bepo muttered, bowing his head.

" You don't need to say sorry." Law said to Bepo.

" Sorry."

" Stop apologizing so much !" Shachi and Penguin said simultaneously.

" S-" Bepo bit back the rest of his apology.

" My, quite the-"

" Shut up." Law interrupted Doflamingo abruptly.

" Nami-swan, Robin-Chwan, are you two okay?" Sanji asked

" We're fine." they both answered.

" Ow! What ever it was that captured us must be _super_ strong." shouted Franky

I watched the others argue a little while before introducing myself. This was actually quite interesting to watch.

" Now, shitty swordsman, you're lucky that your little screw up didn't get any of the beautiful ladies hurt."

" Finally, someone has acknowledged my beauty !" Giolla shouted

" Not you. You don't have the curves or smooth skin. You are dango shaped with alligator skin and your face looks like the wrong end of a pack mule." Sanji said.

" Apply ice to burned area. Yohohoho!"

" Sanji, you realized that you just blatantly insulted a woman!" Ussop pointed out

" That's a woman? I thought it was some sort of hairless ape."

Giolla just gaped.

" Don't worry about it Giolla. What we do need to worry about is WHAT BASTARD BROUGHT US HERE!" Gladius shouted.

I decided to make my apperance. I walked down the staircase with my laptop in hand.

" Hey! How can i be a bastard if I'm a girl. Cause if that's so, then you're a bitch."

All heads turned towards me simultaneously.

" It's very rude to be disrespectful to your host ya know." I said.

" Who the hell are you !" Luffy shouted

" I just said that i was your host. Anyway, the names Rouge Spirit."

" Wait so your name's spirit."

" No Luffy, it's Rouge."

Luffy looked at me with a confused expression

" Where I'm from, we say our first names first and our last names last." I explained

I turned towards Sanji. He was having a nosebleed.

" Is he okay?" I asked

" Yeah, he'll be fine." Chopper said, checking the cook's pulse.

" Why and how did you bring us here?" asked Law.

" Simple." I started as i sat in a nearby chair, resting my laptop in my lap and clasping my hands together. " I brought you here to answer some questions, and you don't need to know how i brought you here. That information will live and die with me."

" Answer questions ?" Robin asked

" Why?" Penguin asked.

" For the my enjoyment and the enjoyment of the audience." I answered.

" What audience." Doflamingo asked

" The audience beyond the fourth wall." I said in a mystical tone of voice.

Everyone look dumbstruck.

" What." they all said dumbly

" Nevermind. I'm going to explain the rules to the people you are going to be asking questions for."

" How! There's nobody here you crazy witch." Zoro said

" How dare you call such a beautiful hostess a witch you moss haired idiot." Sanji said.

He then turned to me with hearts for eyes, " I will gladly answer questions for your enjoyment Rouge-swan."

" Yeaaahhh, don't to that. It's creeping me out. You're practically defying the laws of biology." I said

" Anything for you deary~" Sanji giggled.

" BEFORE I explain the rules to the askers, let me explain something to you guys WITHOUT interruptions."

All mouthes that were open to speak closed. Surprisingly considering that was in a room of pirate. The Straw Hat and Donquioxte pirates no less.

" Ahem. People from around the world will be asking questions. I will be able to receive those questions through this device on my lap. Do not ask me what this. I will tell you in my own time."

Luffy put his hand down.

" When i get the questions, I will say the person who wrote and and give the questions to the one it is intended for. You will answer the question. Aloud of course. They will hear you. Trust me. "

" Any questions."

Luffy raised his and asked, " I'm hungry. When do we get to eat." A growl of his stomach followed

" You'll eat when i say so. Now FOR THE RULES!"

" How are you going to get the rules to these 'askers' what are you gonna do. Send a message to everyone in the world on that thing of yours." Doflamingo said sarcastically.

" As a matter of fact. Yes. I am" I stated matter of factly

Doflamingo's smug grin dropped as a started typing.

" I'll read the rules as i go. Rule 1. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ASKS NSFW STUFF!" I smacked the keys so hard that a few got stuck in the pressed postion."

Everyone stared at me bug eyed.

" What. Rule 2. Askers are not allow to ask more than five questions per session NOT per person. Truths and dares included. Please ask stuff rated K-T. I will allow a few rated M stuff depending on what it is. If you are not asking, but telling, make sure it is a constructive remark. That's about all i can list off the top of my head right now. If anything else pops up, I'll make sure to add it to the rules."

" Alright, that's it for now. I'll get your food and you can discuss whatever you want to discuss while you're eating."

I was about to head upstairs when i was called.

" Wait! You still haven't told us how you brought us here, what the fourth wall is or what that device you're using is!" Nami said.

I just smiled.

" All in good time Nami. All in good time," I walked up the stairs

I was very sure interesting questions would pop up and very interesting answers would be said.

 **All right. That was the intro. Please make sure to review, ask and follow. And for Christ's sake just follow the goddamn rules.**

 **Rouge out !**


	2. Chapter 2

**Just letting you know, I might accidentally or intentionally shift from third to first person and vice versa. It's for plot purposes. I know shifting perspectives is a sin in the writing world, punishable by death-I mean very unprofessional. But this isn't that kind of thing so I will be shifting.**

" Damnit. We need to get out of here." Law grumbled

Luffy's stomach grumbled loudly. " We need to get food." Luffy groaned.

" Any idea's Zoro?" Nami asked.

" No. That girl took our weapons and all the devil fruit users are chained with seastone." he replied.

Meanwhile, I was in my kitchen making sandwiches for Luffy, the others could wait. I turned on my phone to delete all the trash and spam in my email inbox. I smiled as I saw the first set of questions. This is gonna be fun. I decided to wait a little while longer in case anyone else asks something.

-Time Skip-

Everyone in my basement were fast asleep. Snot bubbles forming in Zoro's, Ussop's and Luffy's noses. Penguin, Shachi and Law were leaning against Bepo who didn't seem to mind. The Donquioxte pirates. I couldn't care less.

I inhaled a large breath.

" EVERYBODY WAKE UP! YOU'VE GOT QUESTIONS TO ANSWER!"

Everyone jolted awake.

" WHAT THE HELL!" they all shouted.

" Shhh! Don't shout. Other people live in this house too ya know." I whisper shouted.

" What time is it?" Law asked

" 11: 31 p.m. Why?"

" Why are we doing this at this time of night? How are you not sleeping now. You don't look even remotely tired."

" One. Because I say so. And two, because of school work, I occasionally had to go to bed very late. So it got integrated into my internal clock to go to sleep at late hours. And it turned into a thing that i can't fall asleep super early or else I'll wake up. This one time, I went to bed at nine and woke up at three in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep. Also, I only need about two hours of sleep anyway. This one time at went to bed at five in the morning and got up at six. Still functioned like got eight hours. One the other hand, I can sleep for hours on end. I dunno. My body's just weird. Sometimes i sleep and sometimes i don't"

I tossed the chicken sandwhich, neatly wrapped in edible paper at Luffy. He immediately stuffed the entire thing in his mouth.

" Enjoy." I said

" Don't eat the paper!" Nami shouted

" Don't worry. It's edible." I assured

I sat down in my chair and opened the laptop when i thought of a new rules.

" Okay. I just thought of some new rules."

Everyone turned their attention to me

" Because I KNOW that you guys will bring this up sooner or later. The askers can ask me questions as well. Secondly, we will have each session every Saturday if i can make it."

" Wait, so we'll be stuck down here the entire week by ourselves!" Nami said worried.

I shook my head. " No. I come visit and give you food and stuff. Maybe answer some of your questions and you could answer some of mine."

I clasped my hands together. " Time to answer. Okay first questions are for the Strawhats . **MugiwaraJade,** a guest asked, **Nami, why did you change your clothing style so much over the two years? How are you guys settling in after two years apart. Lastly, what do you think about Jinei joining the crew.** "

" I can't belive this girls idea worked." Doflamingo muttered.

" I don't know how you know about all that but I won't push it. I changed my clothes because they became small and uncomfortable. Especially around the chest area. Also, I have to keep up with the fashion sense."

" Yeah, keeping that up is expensive as all hell." Ussop said.

" About settling in, I think i speak for everybody when I say that it's like we never split up at all. Everyone's so lively and happy. Maybe even more vigoruos than before now that we're amped up." Nami said.

Everone nodded and gave intones of agreement.

" Luffy, you know more about Jinbei than the rest of us. Why don't you answer this one." Nami said

" Okay." Luffy agreed " What was the question?"

"Idiot." Nami and I deadpanned together

" What do you think about Jinbei joining us?" Nami gave the question to Luffy

" Oh! I think it's going to be fun. We'll have super fun adventures and get can swim and catch fish for us !"

" But isn't he still a part of Big Mam's crew? It's not easy to break away from her ya know." I said.

" Don't worry. I'll kick Pig Man's ass and get Jinbei." Luffy said with a serious expression as he cracked his knuckles.

Everyone once again nodded their heads.

" This questions from **Rawr. For everyone, if you had a dog, what breed would it be? For the Heart Pirates, what's your favorite band or musician. For the Straw Hats if you had to...** wait what..oh forget this one. **The Donquioxte family, if you had to dye you hair a different color, what would it be. For Luffy, what's you favorite thing to do to pass the time when you're sailing between islands."**

" I like to sit on my special seat and feel the breeze or sleep. I also eat meat and play with my friends." Luffy said

" Play ? More like give them stress and drive them insane." Ussop said, with Nami agreeing

" Why would we ever want to change our hair color." Doflamingo said, signifying that this question wasn't going to be answered.

" We don't listen to music." Law said " Even if we did, it would just come out as static because the waves of the station aren't strong enough to reach our sub since we're under the water most of the time."

" Gee. Then you're missing out on a hell of a lot. Music is the key to the heart and soul. It is the glue that binds people together. It's a crutch to help you when you fall and no one's around to help. It's much more than our human minds can imagine. Music is life itself. It's like its own being. Wouldn't you agree with me Brook." I said.

" Indeed Hostess-san. I also have a question."

" Shoot."

" Maybe I see your panties."

" Brook you idiot. Don't ask Rouge that !" Nami shouted while knocking Brook over his head with her forehead.

" Sure." I said, preparing to pull down my pants.

" Don't encourage him!" Nami shouted.

" Fine. But I'll tell you the color though. It's pink with white polka dots."

Nami sighed as Sanji and ( how is this possible ) Brook nosebleed imagining whatever it is they imangined in their minds.

" So. Whay kind of dogs would you guys like?" I asked

" I want a German Shepard!" Luffy shouted.

" Pomeranian." Nami said

" Bloodhound." Zoro said with his eyes closed

" Shih tzu." Sanji said.

" Labrador Retriever." Ussop said.

" I'm not sure. Maybe a Poodle" said Chopper.

" I'm more of a cat person, preferably the Russian Blue." said Robin

" Ow ! I want a _super_ pit bull."

" I don't want a dog. It might try to eat me." said Brook.

" I'm allergic." said Shachi

" Scottish Terrier." said Penguin

" I agree with Robin-ya. I prefer cats. Any kind will do for me." Law said

" I don't like animals, despite being one. Ironic isn't it." Bepo said

" I would want a-"

" Time for the next question." I shouted, cutting of Doflamingo.

" But I didn't-"

" Next. Question." I ground out

Law quietly snickered and smirked. Law just huffed.

" **invalidArgument. Captian Luffy, Do you have a specific type of meat you like. If so, what is it?. Nami, at what price do you consider something too expensive?, For Donquiotxe Doflamingo. One a scale of 1 to 10, how fabulous are you. 1 being the least fabulous person and 10 being there is no one more fabulous than you are. P.S. I think you are super fabulous Doflamingo."**

I did a double take reading the last part.

" The hell's wrong with this guy?!" I shouted. " He just called Doflamingo fabulous. Anyway, I'll deal with that last. Luffy."

" I like all kinds of meat. But i like Sanji's meat the most."

" Everything for me is expensive." Nami said

" If everything is expensive, why did you buy that 1,000 beli shirt!" Ussop yelled.

" That's not bad, Ussop. 1,000 beli's is like 10 dollars in our currency." I said but adding " So that means that your bounties aren't all that much here. Luffy's 500,000,000 ( read : five hundred million) is only 50,00,00 (read: fifty thousand) dollars."

"Time for my question. I am 11 on that scale. Thank you. Someone truly realize my greatness."

" 11. More like -11." I said. " You are not fabulous and is nothing but a big pile of shit. You should know how many people in the world hate your guts and wish it was you that died instead of Corazon."

Law's eyed widened. " You knew Cora-san?"

" Sorry if I hit a sore spot. I'll explain everything later. Siince things have become awkward now, this is the last one. **Riz5415, Luffy, has Ace or Sabo ever given you the bees and birds talk, if so, do you understand what it is? If the answer is no, please get the crew to explain it.** "

" Wow! You knew my brothers! Cool ! Shishishi! Sure I have." Luffy said,

" You're lying aren't you." Ussop said

" Yep ! I have no idea what that is ! Can you explain it to me."

" Luffy, you may be a rubber brained idiot, but you are too innocent and is too much of a cinnamon roll to know what that is. So from the kindness of our hearts, please never ask that question again." Nami said.

Luffy laughed. " Okay."

" That's all the time we have folks. I'm going to bed. I'm tired and i have bad neck and back cramps from sitting up too long."

I closed my laptop and headed up stairs, but not before dragging Law up with me.

 **Allright, thank you guys so much. See you next Saturday. Please leave a reveiw, question and follow please. Did you know that 100 beli's is actually 1 American dollar? I looked it up. Here's something i never did before. an omake. Here's three**

 _Birds and Bees- Scene 1_

 _" I don't know what that is." Luffy said._

 _" I'll explain it for you." Law said._

 _Law gave the most detailed and graphic description of the talk i have ever heard of in my life. On both sex perspectives as well. My already scarred for life mind got scarred. Everyone looked at Law bug eyed and horrified._

 _" Did you understand what i say Luffy?" Law asked_

 _" Nope. Not a single thing. I was sleeping Shishishi"_

 _Everyone, including Law, sighed sighs of relief._

 _Birds and Bees-Scene 2_

 _" I don't know what that is." Luffy said._

 _" I'll explain it for you." Robin said._

 _Robin gave the most detailed and graphic description of the talk I have ever heard of in my life. On both sex perspectives as well. My already scarred for life mind got scatted. Everyone looked at Robin bug eyed and horrified._

 _" Did you understand what i say Luffy?" Robin asked " Luffy"_

 _Luffy was scarred for life. His eyes were wide and didn't close. His mind was at a blank. He was frozen. Tears streamed from his unblinking eyes._

 _" I now see why you never wanted me to know." Luffy whispered._

 **I'll explain the difference now. Luffy doesn't listen to Law, but he will sure as hell listen to Robin since they have a better relationship.**

 _Talk about Cora-san_

 _" You knew about Cora-san." asked Law_

 _" Yeah, I do. A lot of people know actually. We even saw with our own eyes what happened. I'm not gonna explain now though. I don't think you can handle the truth at this time. All you need to know is that everyone appreciates that you're trying to avenge Corazon. They would too, trust me. You wouldn't believe the rage instilled upon the universe when they saw him got killed. They even have an entire week in the month of July called Corazon week. An entire week completely dedicated to him. It's gonna be okay Law. Corazon loves you and will always be there for you."_

 _I pulled him into a tight embrace._

 _Somewhere in the distance is a tall blond man wearing makeup. He is smoking on a cigarette and blows out some steam. " Take care Law." he says as he fades away_


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up from my sleep with a start. It was 1: 14 in the morning. Reason for my sudden start being,

" Oh shit i forgot about those guys in the basement!"

I jumped from my top bunk, nearly falling down the ladder that was already unstable. I grabbed my laptop and...oh right. Everyone else in the house was still fast asleep ( as I should be). I snuck into the kitchen and quickly made a sandwich for Luffy. I realized that i haven't fed the others yet, so i grabbed our gallon bottle of milk, three packs of cookies and an unopened bag of plastice cups. How'd i managed to carry all that stuff and my laptop? Well, that's for me to know and you to find out. I opened the garage door with my foot and rushed down the stairs.

" We'll look whose finally arrived." said Doflamingo

" Can it bird brain."

" What time is it?" Nami asked

" 1: 22." I answered

" What! That's even later than last time!...I think."

" Sorry, I was tired and fell asleep. I had a long day today and completely and totally forgot. Here's your sandwich Luffy. It's not as big as last time. Were short on supplies. Have to got to the store tomorrow. Got cookies and milk for everyone else though." I said, handing everyone their share of the food i brought.

" Let's get this over with." muttered Doflamingo, biting a cookie

" For once I agree. I hate it when something stays in my inbox too long." I said, sitting down.

I opened my laptop and opened my email, clicking on the first thing I saw.

" Huh. This is new." I said, putting a cup of milk to my mouth. I had previously read the messages that came in, deleting the ones i knew they weren't ready to answer.

In reading the message, my eyes widened and I nearly spat the milk all over the screen. That didn't stop me from choking on the milk I half swallowed.

" Ohmygosh!" I coughed.

" Everything alright Rouge-swan?" Sanji asked

I didn't answer, just stared at my screen in shock.

" Oh my gosh." I whispered

" What?"

" Oh my gosh!" I squealed with excitement bouncing up and down in my seat.

" What's the matter Rouge?" asked Luffy, who finished his sandwich already.

" Nothing at all." I said smiling " I doubt you'll understand but I'm gonna say it anyway."

I inhaled and exhaled, Trying to control my increasing excitement.

" I am an author on a website called right? And it's a website , I'll explain what that is later so put your hand down Luffy, where people from all over the world write stories and put them on this website to that other people can read them and enjoy them. You can follow a story, meaning that you'll get notifications on when the person who writes the story you're following updates again. Aaaaaaannnnnd, it just so happens that the author of one of my absolute favorites stories _The Comet Wish by morianna19_ by the way just followed one of my stories. It's called _Beating Heart."_

" Well... that's great." Nami said awkardly

" I knew you wouldn't understand but i don't care. You don't have any idea this how much this means to me. "

 **A/N: When i found out i literally spent like 20 mins in the kitchen fangirling. My sister was so proud of me. She's an author on Whattpad so she would understand.**

" Anyway, let's get back to what I originally came down here for and forget all what transpired."

" Well whatever that was, we're glad for you." Nami said.

I nodded and looked back at my inbox and clicked the next message. My eyes widened again, but for a different reason

" Whoa-ho- ho -ho! Wow. Okay then." I said

" What's the matter this time." Zoro said.

" Nothing, it's just that wow. Okay guys, another rule, don't write overly long questions or multiple questions in one questions, I mean seriously, this person typed so much that the message got truncated so it didn't even get the full thing. Sorry but I am not dealing with this. It's a mouthful and I doubt that these guys wouldn't even understand half of what the question is cause i sure as hell don't. I'm not going to say your name to embarrass you but seriously, get to the point and be brief."

" Ummm...what does trancatered mean." asked Luffy confused

" It's truncated and it means to shorten buy cutting something off the top or end." answered Robin.

" Uhhhh okay!' smiled Luffy.

" Jesus. Okay this one is buy... **mugiwarajade** again. Ummm your welcome and here are the questions. **Is it true that Law is closer to Bepo more than any other member of his crew, does Luffy know that Sabo is still alive and does anyone in the strawhat crew who doesn't have a devil fruit power want one?** "

" So... is it true Law?" asked Doflamingo with a smug grin on his face.

" Shut up. And...yes he is. Bepo was the first living being i met after leaving... _that_ place. We've been together for about ten years now. He helped put me back on my feet and re-piece my life after it was destroyed. I..I don't know what i would do or would have done without him. He's always there when i need him." Law turned towards Bepo. " Thank you for always being there for me Bepo. You are more than just my navigator or my first mate. You are...my best friend . My nakama and...you always will be."

Law scooched over to attempt somewhat of a hug. This was the most emotion anyone ever saw Law give. Including his own crew. Too add to that fact, he didn't say it in a cold harsh voice either. It was heart felt and true, spoken softly. He event began to crack up at parts.

No one interrupted the silence, the emotion hung...until...

" Are we gonna sit in silence the rest of the night or are we gonna answer some questions?" interrupted Doflamingo loudly and rudely.

" And you've ruined the moment. Thanks a lot." I said putting as much sarcasm I could into the last part.

" My pleasure." he grinned

" Idiot. Anyway, I'm pissed now and have officially been turned off. I don't wanna do this anymore cause I might punch that bastard's teeth out. So Luffy/ Brother? Sabo? Alive? Any thought?" I said in an irritated tone of voice. That bird bastard really liked to grate on everyone's last nerve. It was very unfortunate that my country's national bird is a flamingo. Now, every time I look at it, I get reminded of him and I get mad. Wait, but if that's the case, then why did I sneak to the kitchen. Probably force of habit since the A/C is turned on only in the summer.

" Oh! Sabo! Yes! I was so surprised and glad! I cried when I saw him! I thought that stupid celestial dragon killed him. Now, I'm not brother less!" he said happily " I-"

I cut Luffy off, " Shut up. I know what you're gonna say so don't you dare say it."

" What are you gonna do ? Shoot me." said Doflamingo sarcastically

" Wanna bet? Nothing is louder in the house than the A/C unit in my parents bedroom. So I'm sure a there will be no problem when I fill you with holes." I said seriously with narrowing eyes, cocking Doflamingo's own gun. I've never killed anyone before, not that i would. And besides, this doesn't even count cause he's a fictional character.

Doflamingo grumbled. A sign of him yielding.

" Nene Doffy. Are you really going to listen to a brat like her? She doesn't even look like she's sixteen yet."

" Hey! Shut up! I'll have you know that people have asked me what college I go to and if I was a worker in Walmart! And this was all when I was on vacation!" I defended myself

Doflamingo ignored me as he said, " Calm down Trebol. She is our hostess after all and we shouldn't be rude to our hostess, especially if she has all our weapons and could potentially kill us with them." the last part had more bitterness than I liked.

" Rouge-swaan's so cute when she is serious~" swooned Sanji

" Thanks, Sanji." I chuckled lightly. For once, Sanji's perverted actions caused a positive outcome.

" So Strawhats. Last question for you guys."

" No." they said collectively.

I raised my eyebrow as if to ask why not. Nami answered my question.

" Cause, whose gonna pull these boneheads out of the water if they fall or stupidly jump overboard. No offense Robin or Brook."

" It's okay/ None taken yohohoho!"

" Okay these questions are from **AwkwardPanda89. Zoro, did you have a crush on Kuina or was it only a rivalry? Bepo, why do you always apologize and everyone, what is your favorite animal?"**

" So... Zoro. You and Kuina huh?" I smirked

" It was only a rivalry." he hesitated.

" But your face says otherwise." I said as his face turned a brighter shade of red.

" Just move on to the next of questions please. This brings up some rather unpleasant memories if you don't mind."

" Of course. So Bepo."

" Sorry, it's just that that questions bring up some unpleasant memories for me as well."

" Awwww. Do you wanna talk about that with me privately?" I asked

He nodded.

" Okay, I kinda feel bad about that person whose messages got truncated so I'll read the short ones."

" What about the animal question" asked Sugar.

" Fine." I huffed. I looked towards the Strawhats.

" LUFFY!" they smiled

I smiled as well " Awww, that's so cute."

" Penguins!" said Penguin

" Orcas." said Shachi

" Bepo." said Law

" I'm sorry. I don't have a favorite animal."

" It's okay."

" I like-" Doflamingo started before i cut him off

" Alright. It's 3 am and my back is starting to kill me so on with those last questions!" I said arching my back

" Stop cutting me off!"

" Nope." I said casually " So those questions are **Law, how do you feel about.**...nope. Nevermid, he nor I am ready for this question. Oh this one is for me. **Rouge, Do you have siblings? If so, how would they react if they found out you had these guys chained in the basement. And are they fans of the anime or manga. Everyone, how do you feel about being chained in this basement by this fabulous psychopath**...hey! I am not a psychopath. If anyone was one it would be Doflamingo! **and forced to answer questions made by people you can't even see or hear?** "

" Okay for me. I have two younger sisters. Not gonna say their names or ages because obvious reason is obvious. I also have a brother and sister on my father's side but i don't associate with them, hell ! I don't even know their ages. Last time i heard from my bro was 6 or 7 years ago. He has his own daughter whose the same age as the youngest of the two. He doesn't even live on the same piece of land as me. As for my half sis. Eh. She has her life and I have mine. She just graduate highschool. I'm only halfway done. We don't have a middle school. Just Kindergartens 1-5. Primary School Grades 1-6 and Highschool grades 7-12. Anyway, I have no feelings for them and wouldn't mind if they disappeared off the face of the earth sad to say. But my biological two nuh-uh. They're the personal thorns in my side and pains in my ass reserved for me and me only. Following me everywhere I go. No advil could relieve that but they're my sisters. Can't live with and can't live without them. Ya know."

I cast Law a knowing glance. He responded with a small smile but there was still sadness in his eyes.

 **A/N: Underlined words are censored from the pirates.**

"As for these guys? I asked the oldest of them, she said that she would sugar rush down here, say hi and bombard these guys with her own questions. Funny thing is, she doesn't watch or read the anime or manga. She doesn't even care for the anime as much as I do. Once, going to say she doesn't like One Piece. Thing is, she's a Naruto junkie. Has like three stories on Whattpad, all Naruto related. Anyway, the youngest doesn't know about anime. She's very young. Hasn't reached double digits yet. So that's a no. Besides, remember these guys don't exist and are fictional. So anyone who doesn't know about One Piece won't see these guys. If anything, they'll phase right through them and just shiver."

The Strawhats were confused because they didn't hear some of the words. They figured they were just super tired.

" Umm Hostess -san. Some of your words didn't catch my ears. But of course being a skeleton I don't have ears. Yohoho Skull Joke!... Skeleton Joke? No I was right the first time. I'm tired."

" Allright. guys. It's 3:39 and I'm tired as hell. Next week session will be for this last question we didn't get to answer. And Bepo. I'll talk with you tomorrow after we're done mmkay?"

Bepo nodded.

" So guys, no long questions please?"

I walked up stairs with my laptop. All the cookies and milk were gone. Luffy ate all the cups and gallon bottle as well. I'll think of a lie to explain the disappearance of our snacks tomorrow.

" Good night guys. See ya next week." I mumbled.

They were all fast asleep, a few snot bubbles coming out of some noses.

I chuckled lightly. And passed out right on my bed, which I was surprised i managed to make it to.


	4. Chapter 4

" What took you so long?" Law asked as i walked down the stairs.

" Shit i forgot my stuff." I said as I walked up the stairs, completely ignoring his question.

A few moments later, I walked down the stairs again this time, I had brought my headphones.

" What's that" asked Luffy curiously.

" These are headphones Luffy..." I explained " You stick it in whatever device you're using. It causes no one but you to hear the sounds that the device is emitting."

" SO COOL!" Luffy exclaimed with stars for eyes.

" Why did you bring them this time?" Nami asked, eyeing my black lightweight headphones.

" To listen to music. It's my only escape from the craziness of my life."

" Well Hostess -san, it is not my place to ask, but may you not use your device so that we may listen to some music as well." Brook asked politely.

" Sorry no can do Brook. When I do stuff like read or write or draw, i listen to the same song on loop for extended periods of time. I don't wanna drive you guys more insane than you are already being driven."

" That's understandable. But as I asked, why did you take so long." Law asked again.

" Sorry guys. Yesterday was Saturday, but I was feeling lazy and didn't want to do it. I literally stared at inbox for five whole minutes. determining whether or not I should come down here before deciding nah."

" Oi. Rouge-san. I'm hungry!" Luffy whined

" Sorry. No food today."

" Speaking of which. How did you explain the missing food?" Nami asked

" Eh. Didn't have to. I was mysteriously replaced before mum noticed it went missing."

I stuck my headphones as I went on youtube and entered Hello by OMFG. I always start with a few instrumentals before going on to lyric music. Personally, I prefer instrumental music more than lyric but I love music all the same. Except rap. I hate rap.

Bobbing my head to the beat and turning the volume to a setting where i could hear the pirates, I opened my inbox, revealing old and new messages.

" Okay guys, I said during the last session that there was still a question that we needed to answer. Yo Bepo. You still wanna say why you apologize so much?"

The arctic creature simply shook his head. " I change my mind. You are a kind person but i am not used to telling by backstories to complete strangers."

" Understandable. Anyway, In a nutshell the question asked how all of you felt being trapped down here by me and being forced to answer questions from people you can't see or hear."

" I've experienced weirder. So this is nothing." Zoro said nonchalantly albeit with a big yawn.

I yawned as well. " Damn. Why are yawns so contagious?"

" Ah! Rouge-swan looks so cute when she yawns." Sanji swooned.

" Can it curly cook!" Zoro and I shouted simultaneously.

Sanji shot Zoro a glare of daggers before saying " Only the sweet Rouge-swan is allowed to call me names marimo."

I rolled my eyes before muttering " Ladies man"

" I don't mind as long as a cute lady is capturing me and asking me questions." said Sanji.

" I still don't trust you Rouge but you seem like a kind albeit kind of crazy person, though you are smart for keeping us tied up. We are dangerous pirates afterall." said Nami

" I don't care. As long as none of my nakama gets hurt in any way, then we are on good terms." said Luffy seriously before once again adapting his child like demeanor.

" My feelings about this are neutral." said Robin.

" Rouge is very _super_ to be able to capture _super_ pirates without getting caught and without us knowing. As for the questions I am _super_ excited to see what kind of questions that these probably _super_ mysterious people will ask us." Franky shouted with gusto.

" That's a lot of gusto you have there Franky."

" Ow! My _super_ boss Tom said to do everything 'with gusto!" He shouted once again.

" I still have my suspicions about you but more about the mystery people." Ussop said

" I agree with Ussop." Chopper said.

" Yohohoho! Everything looking great so far...though I can't look since i have no eyes. Yohohoho Skull Joke!"

" Skull Joke!" shouted the Idiot trio consisting of Luffy, Ussop and Chopper.

" I am very intrigued in the mystery people but not as much as you." said Law in an eerily calm tone of voice. His steely gray eyes locked on to me.

" Riiiiight" I said uneasily

" Ummm. Still have mixed feelings about this." Penguin said.

" So do I." agreed Chopper.

" I am fine" Bepo said softy.

" I feel-"

" ON TO THE NEXT QUESTION!" I shouted, cutting Doflamingo off

" WHY DO YOU KEEP CUTTING ME OFF!" growled Doflamingo,the vein in his forehead pulsing

" TO PLEASE THE PUBLIC!" i shouted

" WHAT PUBLIC!" he growled

" STOP SHOUTING, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP DAMNIT!" shouted Zoro

" NO!. WAKE UP SO YOU CAN SUFFER LIKE ME!" I shouted, taking my headphones off, putting my laptop down and jumping atop him.

He wheezed as all the wind was knocked out of his lungs.

" Suffer." Luffy said coldly

" Ah shit. Bad choice of words. I don't mean actually suffer. It's out of habit."

" Why would something like that be out of habit?" asked Nami

" I have nakama of my own. Especially one person in particular. Whenever we're forced to do something we don't want to do or stuff like that,we drag each other along so we can join in their 'suffering'."

Luffy didn't seem convinced.

" Example. At the end of the school year, our coach asked my friend to count all the equipment in the Physical Eds. room and make inventory of it. Including the uniforms. The room is a complete mess tons of equipment scattered and were to be organized and the uniforms smell like death itself on top of the fact that the room isn't that big to begin with and the only source of air was the door. She did a double take of the room and was like " Hell no." She grabbed my wrist and yanked me in the room saying " Come join in my suffering and take inventory with me" So, we don't mean it as actual suffering,but more like a figure of speech."

Luffy's evil gaze softened a bit. " Alright. But I'm watching you."

I nodded my head and caught a glimpse of Doflamingo snickering in the back.

" Shut it. You feather brained freak." I growled lowly.

I sat back down and put my headphones back on, to notice that the music stopped.

" 1 hour already? Whelp. Time for next song." I muttered so no one can hear me

" What time is it?" asked Sugar

" 1:04 a.m, By the way a guest asked **Why do you like grapes so much."**

" Simple. They are delicious and sweet and are my favorite color. Purple" she answered.

" You know grapes come in green and a purpley red right?"

" I know, but I like the deep purple ones best. Too bad I can't turn you into a toy and command you to get grapes for me." she muttered.

" Speaking of which, I need to perform a little experiment. Now, let's see Luffy!"

" Ah!" he exclaimed, seemingly forgotten about the liquid death stare he gave me earlier.

I beckoned for him to scooch over ( which he did to the best of his ability) and unlocked the sea stone chains.

" What! How come that straw hatted brat gets to be free!" shouted Doflamingo

" Shut up!...I'm performing an experiment."

I lowered the moniter on my laptop so I can reach over to Luffy's face.

I grabbed his cheeks and pulled them. What came next surprised everyone except me, Zoro ( who was sleeping) and Law ( whose suspicions were confirmed).

" OW! OW! OW! Why aren't my cheeks stretching."

" As I suspected."

" What did you do to Luffy?" yelled Nami

" Nothing." I said sitting back up and moving the moniter up.

" YOSH! I have my strength back! But i still can't stretch. " Luffy said, standing up and stretching.

" I'm coming back. " I said taking off my head phones and closing my laptop. " Don't touch anything."

I ran up the stairs instead of walking, filled a mop bucket with water and poured salt into it and stirred it up. I traveled down the stairs carefully.

" Oi Luffy. Catch."

Luffy extended his arms to catch something physical but instead got drenched in salt water.

He immediately lost his strength and collapsed on the floor.

" Hey! That was a dick move." shouted Ussop.

I glared in his direction.

" So it seems like you still have the side effects of using devil fruits but can't actually use them here."

I tied Luffy up again while he was still weak.

" So here's the deal. I'll give you your freedom if I deem that you are safe and disciplined and mature enough to be let loose or if one of the askers allow you to be free, but you can only be free for a certain period of time. Permanent freedom comes with me though, not completely permanent since I'll have to tie you back up when I leave. If I can trust to to stay down here while untied, I can bring some extra blankets and pillows"

I got up once again and released Robin, Chopper, Brook, Ussop, Bepo and...none of the Donquioxte pirates.

All of the free stood up and stretched. Various cracking of bones could be heard.

" Alright, now that that's dealt with **morianna19** asked **Strawhats, what will you guys do after you achieve your dreams, Sanji, what is you favorite dish to make, Law, what was going through your mind when you were saving Luffy from Marineford? ( Thank you for doing so by the way) Luffy, would you change your devil fruit if you had the chance** and this last one is for Doflamingo but I don't understand what it means so I'm not going to bother."

"Hey!" growled the said flamingo

" After we achieve our dreams, we'll just find new ones!" chirped Luffy

" Yeah, we'll help each other find new goals and ambitions and achieve the ones that weren't yet." added Nami

" Go on more badass adventures as the crew of the King of the Pirates." commented Zoro

" Aye!" cheered Ussop and Chopper.

" Maybe visit some past friends on our previous journeys. I would really like to apologize to Vivi." said Robin

" And visit Conis-swaan" crooned Sanji

" We'll help the people we meet achieve their own _super_ goals" roared Franky happily

" And have excellent fun and music doing so!" added Brook.

Speaking of music, " Oi Brook. I have my own question. Have you ever measured time with music. Like how I'm playing songs that repeat for one hour so when the song stops completely, I know an hour has passed. Or when I'm stretching I listen to like three or four 3 or 4 minute songs which will add up to around 9-16 minutes of stretching"

" No I haven't but that seems mighty interesting."

" Law, you."

" There were no solid thoughts on my mind. I did it based on a whim. Though guess my motivation was that it would be a damn crying shame if one of the only worthy opponents were to die there for such a pathetic reason." the grey eye man answered.

" Sanji, what is your favorite food to make."

" I like to make all and every kind of food. I do not put more love into a dish than the next, I put all of my soul into everyone one of my dishes, whether it is for beautiful ladies like you or shitty people like that dumbass marimo." he answered.

" Luffy, would you change your devil fruit?"

There was no answer.

" Luffy?"

Familiar snores came from the raven haired teen.

" Good night Luffy." I clasped my hands together

" There are no more questions. There was one for Shucki Akai **a/n: Sorry I can't spell and for some reason your name is cut off** but i have no idea what they are asking and I-that's two hours passed- can't decipher what they're trying to ask. So they'll have to resend their question, but clearer. By the way I absolutely love your stories and can't wait for the next chapter of the ones you're updating next"

I got up again to tie the free pirates.

" This is only for tonight. You can sleep free tomorrow."

They nodded in understanding as they willingly let me tie them up.

" Good Pirates." I said as I walked up the stairs with my belongings.


	5. Chapter 5

I walked down the stairs. Instead of my laptop and headphones, was a wooden bat and a couple of rucksack bags.

" Hey guys." I greeted with a weak smile as I walked down the last steps.

" Hi Rouge!" smiled Luffy.

" Hmm. You're early." said Doflamingo suspiciously.

" What's with the bat and the bags." asked Law raising an eyebrow

"Umm." I gazed in every direction instead of his.

" You didn't bring your stuff. How are you gonna ask us questions?" asked Ussop.

" Ummm. That's the thing guys. I'm not gonna be giving you questions this time...or for quite a while actually."

" What. Why not." pouted Luffy.

"I'm gonna send you back home. Temporarily. I'm going on a bit of a hiatus. Maybe 2-3 weeks. 4 weeks the most. Things have become a bit stressful for me. Also, I'm going on vacation and I can't just leave you down here by yourselves with no food. And I don't trust you to roam free here while I'm gone. So I'm gonna send you back. When I'm done, I'll start again. I really need to organize myself and my life. A lot of things is going on and my attention is constantly being shifted from one thing to the next."

" I understand but, why do you need the bat and the bags." asked Nami

" To knock you out and cover your faces so you won't see what I'm doing obviously. I don't want you to find my place and trash it."

" That seems reasonable." she replied

" Wait. Are you saying that you knocked all of us out with a wooden bat?" asked Sugar incredulously

" No. I did it with a metal bat. But it got bent on Franky. If you want, I'll show you the dent. It looks like Franky's face."

" That's not the point!" everyone shouted

I shrugged.

" Anyway, because of this, I'll allow the askers to ask 2-3 more questions so we can have a longer session when I get back. Normally I'll allow only up to 5 questions but this time,I'll allow up to 8 questions but just this once."

I walked over to Doflamingo.

" Whelp. Nighty night."

 **WHOOSH**

 ** _CRACK!_  
**

A wide smile spread on Doflamingo's lips.

" Well shit."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay, my hiatus isn't over yet. But i decided to update one more thing before i go on vacation. Think of this chapter as a behind the scenes chapter.**

I run down the stairs, wearing a hat that looks like Ash's from Pokemon.

" ZORO, SANJI, LAW, NAMI I CHOOSE YOU!" I shout, throwing golf balls painted like poke balls at the three men I called.

Sanji got hit in the eye, Zoro turned his head to the side and Law flicked the ball away...somehow.

" What are you doing?" asked Law with a flat expression

" What do you mean what am I doing? I said I choose you obviously?"

" Choose us?" Zoro raised an eyebrow

" For what my darling princess. Whatever it is that you need, I shall do it for you with the grace of a thousand swans. Much better that those Neanderthals." Sanji swooned.

" Whoa. Calm down there prince charming."

" She called me prince charming!" Sanji said with a heart in his eye

" Easy. I just need you guys to sing."

" Why? Is it another one of the questions from those mystery people?" asked Luffy with his head titled

" Nope. It's not even Saturday. It's Monday. No questions today?"

" So why'd you come down here then. To mock us. To torture us?" asked Doflamingo

" Mmmm no. Just to make you sing." I said

" Why us?" asked Zoro

" Because. I think your voices will work better. Sanji's voice is smooth. So he'll be a good soprano and alto if need be. You and Law's voices are a bit rougher, so you'll be able to handle rapping. Nami, you have sass, which is what a certain part needs. But I know you don't want to do this so you have the shortest part. " I explain

" I can tell from the start that there is now way around this. So what are we singing?" Law asked

" Ladybug and Queenfish. Both by Emezie Okorafor." I say

Zoro and Law both had looks of hesitation.

" Relax."

I hand Zoro and Nami the sheets for Ladybug and Law the sheets for Queenfish. I hand Sanji copies of both songs

" Sanji. You'll be back up singers for both songs. And don't worry guys. Once you hear the music, you'll just instantly go with the flow. Also, your names are next to the parts you sing. No worries about messing up the lyrics or tune. It's like magic."

" Magic?" Chopper asks with child like innocence

" Yep. It's like magic magic whoo ho magic magic whoo ho magic magic magic magic whoo ho ~" I sing from Mystery Skull's Magic

Scattered claps are given

" Rouge-swaan sings like an angel!" Sanji noodle danced

" It's nothing guys." I say as I blushed.

" Now...SING!" I shout, pulling my phone out the back pockets of my pants and turning on the music for Ladybug

Zoro: _Sugar, spice everything twice_

 _on the left and the right in a word nice_

 _She's a babe_

 _Its says so right there on her T_

 _bedazzled with the letters B.A.B.E_

 _that's not a title, its a promise, a dare_

 _spells bad ass bitch extrodinare_

 _but thats rude, like her uggs to your dome_

 _it's safer if you just call her 'Ladybug Jones'_

 _she'll spend the morning skipping in a field of wild flowers_

 _then she'll spend the afternoon buying out the trump towers_

 _she's smarter than she looks and not cause just she looks dope_

 _a pretty face is nothing if you're nothing but a joke_

 _so she hits the gym, all the heads turn_

 _50 women on the treadmills fat burn and split_

 _but, naw, the ladybug walks on by_

 _she hits the free weights to minimize the great divide_

 _on the bench press, but not to make her boobs taller_

 _cause she'll be damned if she'll let some motherfucker put his hands on her_

 _mama, your life is calling,_ _take if off mute_

 _strong is the new cute_

 _if you don't know by know what this chick is about_

 _and know you know which honey's running the show_

 _if you don't know by know what this chick is about_

 _and know you know which honey's running the show_

 _the thing about a ladybug's that captivated me_

 _is the aire of unmitigated femininity_

 _cause no matter what the ladybug will do become or see_

 _in the very end a 'lady' ladybug will always be_

 _as subtle as a flower or as scary as a tree_

 _a sunny word unspoken or a dark cacophony_

 _a ladybug can fight or a ladybug can flee_

 _but in the end a 'lady' ladybug will always be_

 _as big as a he or as tiny as a pea_

 _black , white, brown, yellow, red like the sea_

 _rockin' them pancakes rockin' double d's_

 _either way a 'lady' ladybug will always be_

 _so the ladybug it symbolizes every girl that's free_

 _all the chick with guts enough to live the life you please_

 _no matter what a ladybug will do become or see_

 _in the very end a 'lady' ladybug will alway be_

 _if you don't know by now what this chick is about_

 _Nami: a lady lady bug will always be_

 _Zoro: and now you know which honey's runnin' the show_

 _Nami: a lady lady bug will always be_

 _Zoro: if you don't know by know what this chick is about_

 _Nami: a lady lady bug will alway be_

 _Zoro: and now you know which honey's runnin' the show_

 _Nami: a lady lady bug will always be_

 _( repeat continuously)_

 _Sanji: Please don't change who you are_

 _you were always my star_

 _please don't change who you are_

 _you were alway my star_

 _( Zoro and Nami stops)_

 _Sanji: Please don't change who you are_

 _You were always my star_

Applause is given.

" Wow Zoro! I didn't know you could sing or rap or whatever!" Luffy said

" Thanks. But this song is stupid." he said crumbling the sheet.

" Shut up!" Nami and i shout at the same time

" So much feminine pride." Robin smiles calmly

" Yes! A song about the ladies' deserve to exist!" Sanji shouts

I turn to face Law

" Law, you may not like this one. It may enter some uncomfortable zones for you. And Doflamingo, I'm telling you in advance. Shut. The F up."

" Whatever. I already read the lyrics. If I divert my attention to a girl I care about. Which is only one. I can sing or rap this." Law said.

I turn on the lyrics for Queenfish.

Law: _I'm diving, i'm falling, i'm tripping like Jack_

 _i'm going for the sunken treasure and i'm never looking back_

 _i got the deep blue sea below me and the devil up above_

 _and somewhere in between, i think i fell in love_

 _you see i never loved another_

 _i'll never love above her_

 _you see i've never seen Australia but i think i'm going under_

 _down under, sinking in the fantasy, i'm going down_

 _and if you see me drowning hold my nose and let me drown_

 _i'm going down im going down jump around to the sound_

 _Sanji" You see I'm looking for the queenfish, maybe you have seen her_

 _she always steals a scene with a body thats obscener_

 _that the cutest of the cuties, flowing grace and beauty_

 _from the brain to the booty, the darling of the sea_

 _Law: Now i know i'm not the only fisherman whose ever tried_

 _to lure the lady queenfish and keep her fancy by his side_

 _but how i think about her all the time it's tearing me apart_

 _and so today the hunt begins, i'm off to capture lady's heart_

 _Sanj: because i''ve never loved another_

 _i'll never love above her_

 _i've never seen Australia but i think i'm going under_

 _Law: down under, i wonder why she wouldn't want to be_

 _with the one who loves her harder than the Great Coral Reef_

 _Sanji: i'm going down_

 _to the bottom of the sea_

 _it's the sea of love_

 _come and dive with me_

 _and if i never ever ever leave this sea_

 _the water's warm_

 _it's fine with me_

 _Law: thar she blows_

 _oh my lady approaches_

 _swimming swimmingly_

 _and making me loose composure_

 _caught unawares man_

 _i'm so unprepared damn_

 _i could drop anchor with the weight of her stare but..._

 _Sanji and Law: what are the chances that my honesty entrances_

 _and enhances my advances with the threat of romance or_

 _maybe perhaps when she knows what just my stance is_

 _and exactly what my plan is she'll go swimming away into the_

 _Sanj: arms of another handsome underwater lover_

 _it seems like many sea men have knocked upon her door_

 _and it seems like many sea men have crashed upon her shores_

 _allow me to recap for those home keeping score_

 _Law: We got the sea men from the east_

 _the sea me from the west_

 _sea men from Australia, Thailand and Budapest_

 _we got the sea men from Iran, Siam, Sudan and Pakistan_

 _sea men from Bulgaria, Paris and yea Japan_

 _Sanji: but still i've never loved another_

 _i'll never love above her_

 _she takes away my oxygen_

 _i think i'm going under_

 _torn asunder_

 _what a blunder_

 _in all the seven seas_

 _Law: You'll never find nobody better than me_

 _Sanj: i'm going down_

 _to the bottom of the sea_

 _the fantasy of love_

 _come and dive with me_

 _and if i never ever ever leave this sea_

 _the water's warm_

 _its fine with me_

 _i'm going down_

 _to the bottom of the sea_

 _the fantasy of love_

 _come and dive with me_

 _and yes i know there are other fish in the sea_

 _but she'll always be_

 _queen to me_

 _i'm going down'_

 _to the bottom of the sea_

 _the fantasy of love_

 _come and dive with me_

 _and though she'll never find another catch like me_

 _it doesn't matter_

 _she's blind to me_

More applause is given

" Huh. That wasn't as bad as i thought." shrugged Law

" You're a really good singer Torao!" said Luffy

" Thanks. And the name's Trafalgar."

" So...whose the lady you thought about while singing Law?" Doflamingo smiled evily

" Shut up." Law said while lifting is arm as much as he could to flip Doflamingo the bird

" Was it me?" Sugar. Baby 5 and Giolla said simultaneously

" Ew. No." Law said coldy

" Savage. Anyway did you guys have fun."

" No/ Yes/ I don't care"

" You guys suck." I pouted

" I just have one question to ask. Is this gonna be leaked to those askers. Cause I'd hate for them to find out about this and start requesting us singing songs." said Law

" No. I don't think so." I said, scratching my head " But that'll probably change in the future when I forget this."

 **A/N: And forgotten it has been. Well goodbye everyone. When I come back from vacation, my hiatus will be over. Make sure to ask lots of questions. Okay. Maybe not lots but up to five or for next's time return session eight questions.**


	7. Chapter 7

I stood up from the seat I was sitting in for the past hour, cracking my bones as I rose. Instead of picking up my laptop, I picked up my phone and stuck my headphones in it. I decided it would be much easier for me to use my phone instead. Putting my phone in the pocket of jeans and the headphones around my neck, I headed towards the basement. I had recaptured the pirates the night before and fed them. I know Luffy would be hungry but i couldn't give him anything...at least,not at this moment. Hold on...why am I even feeding these guys?

I jogged towards the top of the stair case and promptly fell down it.

" Oh shit." I wheezed as all the wind was knocked out of my lungs.

" Stupid laces. Damn. I hope my phone didn't crack." I grunted as I got up and fixed my clothes.

" Is everything alright?! It sounded like something fell down the stairs!" my mom shouted from above

" Everything is alright!" I shouted back " Just a shirt fell down the stairs."

" Are you sure? That sounded too heavy!"

" I'm sure. It probably sounded heavy 'cause I was in it!"

"...okay then. Do you need my to come down there?!"

" No I'm fine."

" Okay. Call me if you need anything."

" Sure!"

I walked over to Robin, Chopper, Brook, Ussop and Bepo, untying their chains.

Sitting in my chair, I pulled my phone out my pocket and thanked the heavens it wasn't broken. Turning on some music...I'm feeling like Ghost from Mystery Skulls...I pulled up the questions that were sitting in my inbox from before my hiatus.

" That was quite a fall. Do you need me to look at you?" Chopper said standing up.

" No thanks. That fall was nothing. I've been through tougher scrapes." I said waving him off.

" What kind of scrapes?" Doflamingo asked

" Why do you care?"

" I don't. I'm just interested."

" Well. I'm not telling. It doesn't concern you."

" Are we gonna get more questions from the mystery people?" Luffy asked excitedly

" Yep." I said, popping the p

" Where's your laptop?" asked Law

" It's in my room. Using my phone will be much easier."

I crossed my legs and began.

" I'm not saying the names now, cause it's too much works and I'm lazy. Besides, some of these names are weird. No offense. And I don't want to make you guys uncomfortable. So **Sugar, who is your favorite in the Donquioxte family and who is your least favorite.** "

" My favorite is Big Sis Monet. My least favorite is Trebol. He's gross and never brings me the kind of grapes I want."

" I think we all can agree that Trebol is unlikeable." I muttered

" Ne ne ! I should just-"

" Yo Law. **Has anyone ever made a joke about your name?** '

" No." was the reply

" Awww. That's bad. Cause in a room full of pirates. There shout be shouting and attempts to punch the lights out of each other. But I guess due to my skills in bringing about _Law_ and Order, there are no such actions."

A frown made its way on Law's face as everyone in the room laughed

" Come on man. Only smiles are allowed in this room. _"_

Law grumbled as everyone continued laughing.

" If i was free, I would cut you into pieces and spread your parts around the world." he growled

" Now now Law. That's illegal according to the _Law_ of this country. After all _Law_ is a system of rules that are enforced through social institutions to govern behavior. And that behavior certainly isn't part of this country's _Law..._ or any other country's _Law_ for that matter."

By this time, tears were streaking down some the pirates's faces. Including Doflamingo.

Law's face turned red with embarrassment as he looked towards his crew for comfort, only to find them laughing as well.

" I really hate you." he deadpanned

" Shut up ! How could anyone hate such an angel as she!" Sanji shouted in my defense.

" Anyway." I chuckled " **Shachi, Penguin and Bepo...** mmmm...Jean Bart isn't here I think unless he was here and I forgot about him. ... Ah well. **How do you guys feel about being the only members of their crew whose names are known by their fans.** "

" I don't undertand." Penguin said as he titled his head.

" What she means is how do we feel about being unpopular and only people who actually accept background characters like us." Shachi explained

" That is not what I meant at all but...whatever floats your boat."

" Ummm...I don't feel anything actually." Penguin said

" I'm pretty apathetic about this." Shachi agreed

Bepo nodded his head, signifying his agreement.

" Are you sure guys. Cause back on Zou, you were pretty pissed that Law didn't introduce you more properly to the Straw Hat Pirates."

" That's totally different. Up until this point, we didn't know about this place and the mysterious people watching us. So how could we feel sad about not being popular among a group of people we didn't know exist..I don't think I explained that correctly but you get the gist right?" explained Shachi

" I guess. Next question is for Law again **Law who do you-** "

" I refuse to answer anymore questions."

" Tch. Stingy." I muttered. " Donquixote Family. **What do you guys like to do in your spare time? Extra on for Sugar : how annoying do you fing it when people underestimate you? "**

" We barely have spare time. Believe it or not, we are very busy even when we seems like where not. The only one who actually has spare time around here is Doffy." Gladius answered

" In my spare time I like to-"

" I don't find it annoying at all actually. In fact, I base my attacks on my appearance. If you are underestimated, it sets the stage for the element of surprise. They enemy lets their guard down and leaves themselves open. That way I can move swiftly and touch them, turning them into my minions. Of course, toys are only fun until they become useless and broken"

" Ooookayy?"

" Sugar. Why did you cut me off?" Doflamingo asked with a frown

" Because it seemed like fun. Rouge is always doing it so I thought I could do it too. I like your reactions. But...you didn't react. Why?"

" It is because i realized that the only reason that she is continuing is because of my reactions. I am letting her get under my skin which is fueling her. If she knows that I am immune to her antics, then she will stop."

" Ohh. You don't have to worry about that. I'll do it regardless." I said

Doflamingo simply grumbled. " One day I will kill you. I will make sure it is slow and agonizing. I will keep you awaked so you can feel every moment."

" Yeah Yeah." I waved him off " Last question. **What do you think of the furry fandom and Five Nights at Freddy's?"**

" What are those?" Nami asked

" Oh! I swear I secretly hoping that someone would ask about Five Night's at Freddy!" I squealed

" What are furries?" Ussop asked.

" They are people who are deeply interested in anthropomorphic animals. Ya know...animals like Chopper. They have human abilities and characteristics."

" Whoa! Are you saying others like Chopper exist!" Luffy said with stars in his eyes.

" No they don't. They only exist in fiction."

" Awww." Luffy pouted.

" About furries, I don't care. I only care about Five Nights at Freddy's" I said

" Well... If furries are people who like things like Chopper...I guess I like the fandom as well." Luffy said

The other Straw Hats agrees while the Heart and Donquioxte pirates looked like they didn't give a shit.

" What is Five Nights at Freddy's ?" Nami asked

" It's an indie horror game made by Scott Cawthorne." I answered

" H-horror?" Ussop quivered

" So..it's just a game then." said Law

" It's not just a game. It's a game with a well written story. It's made millions of dollars and is...well was super popular when it first came out. Now...the fandom is fading away steadily. Though, I don't care about the fandom or the game itself. Just the story."

" How scary is the game?" Ussop asked

" Well...when I first watched Markiplier play the game...I got paranoid for weeks. But that was only the first game. The second game didn't leave me paranoid but I got scared well. The third game was lame and quite frankly annoying. I spooked by the random noises but the actual jump scare was so lame I fell asleep. The fourth one was a complete disappointment. But I guess I became less scared because I knew what would happen."

" It sounded like you really like this game." Doflamingo said

" Yeah but not as much as Undertale. Undertale is my favorite game in the whole world." I smiled sheepishly as i scratched my neck

" What is Undertale?"

" Undertale is a really popular role playing game made by Toby Fox. It has also made an ass load of money."

" The question was about the horror game and you said that it had a well written story. I want to hear this story."

" Well we can't do it now feathers because our time is up. I'll tell you the story later."

" Fine."

 **Guess who's back? MEEEE! Hiatus is over! I'm sorry for this half assed chapter though. Tbh I wasn't really into it. And some of the questions were kinda weird for me and a bit difficult to integrate. Especially the one about the furries.**

 **But anyway, don't forget to follow and leave your reviews/questions.**


	8. Chapter 8

I walked down the basement stairs. Phone in my pants pocket...I think and headphones around my neck.

" Hey guys." I mumbled, waving a hand at the four or five pirates I accidentally left unchained for the entire past week.

Wait. WHAT!

I sighed as I slouched in the chair " Well, at least I have definite trust in the ones unchained."

" Though time is difficult to tell down here, I can tell that you took longer to come. Why is that?" Law asked

" Sorry. School started again for me last week Monday. I have a lot of homework already, so I'm going to be very busy and stressed. I won't have the time to come down here anymore since weekdays are schooldays, and the weekends, the time questions are given, I'm too exhausted from the week. "

" That's understandable. We'll just wait it out then." Ussop said

" That would be very unwise. The amount of extra time I have each week will be uncertain, I might not have the time to visit you next week. Hell, I might not come down here for a whole month."

" So what are we gonna do? I wanna go on adventures, but I also what to hear from the mystery people." Luffy whined

" If only there was some way that we would magically transport here every time you are available." Doflamingo sneered sarcastically.

" Actually, that gives me an idea." I said standing up.

" I know is only works in fanfiction and other stuff, but I'm gonna give it a try."

Everyone looked at me confused, while I patted all of their heads saying

" By the power vested in me through fanfiction, you will teleport between here and your world, based on when I am able to give you questions from the mysterious askers."

After a second of silence, Luffy asked " Did it work?"

" We'll just have to wait and see." I said, sticking my headphones in, listening to the song I was currently addicted to.

" Hmmm. First question is for me. **How long are you planning on keeping the pirates in your basement and how have you kept them from being discovered?** "

" Yeah. How long" Ussop asked

" Mmmm. I'm not sure. It all depends really. I want to do this for quite a while, but I can't do this forever. There is a fanfic that I want to start but these sessions are taking up the time for it. But considering that I'm already juggling three other stories, that other fic should and could wait. In the long run, when I get bored, annoyed, and or tired of this, these sessions will stop. Mind you, my rope of patience had become very thick over the past four years. Though a certain friend of mine manages to break that rope in mere seconds."

I paused to grumble something under my breath.

" ANYway, about discovery? No one really comes down here except me. Unless, I'm being forced to socialize. Besides, even if someone comes down here while our meeting is in session...they will just think I'm talking to myself because no one except me can see them. I don't know how and why that is, but honestly...I don't care. And the possibility of being seen by others is negative one hundred. Why don't you give your theory's as to why that is."

" The fact that you are the only person that can communicate with us is a bit unnerving" Ussop quivered

" Relax, it's not that bad."

" If its you exclusively, then it will be very bad." Ussop said

" I'm touched. Next question. Ehh...this question is for Robin, but it is extremely vague. Do you still want me to ask it?"

" To be honest, I'd prefer specific questions. After an...incident involving an extremely vague question, others have been repeatedly urged to ask very specific and detailed questions around me."

" I can see why." I muttered, as I looked over to Nami and Ussop, who were hugging their knees and mumbling " what has been heard can never been unheard."

" Another question is for...oh for me again? How lovely. **You like Five Nights at Freddy's lore to? Yay, so what do you think of Sister Location so far and do you watch game theory for your lore? Also, are there any other fandoms that you like?** "

" I'm not too interested in the games themselves. Four games in two years is really milking it for me. Seems rushed. But it is the story behind it that has me interested. I'm not deep in the fandom though. Actually...I'm not in the fandom at all. Okay...that's probably a lie since I have a FNaF fic called Addicted, but that's just about it. Anyway, I think Sister Location will probably be cool or something. I dunno. I don't really follow up on everything. I used to when I first discovered about FNaF but not anymore. I don't watch game theory for my lore because I not that interested in FNaF anymore. The only reason I'm continuing my fic is because I hate the idea of unfinished stories or one shots in my case. And that is really hard because i don't care anymore, which is the completely opposite reaction during the last session. I heard there was a confirmed release of S.L, but knowing Scott, he'll probably release it earlier. About the other fandoms, I told you already that I was already waist deep in the Undertale fandom. I'm knee deep in the Steven Universe fandom and I was ankle deep in the Gravity Falls fandom before the show was completed. I'm also in the O.P ( One Piece) fandom, but that's kinda obvious since I'm doing this...thing."

" What a fandom?" Luffy asked

" Cancer Luffy. Fandoms are fricking cancer."

"What's cancer?" the rubber brained captain asked

" Another story for another time." I replied

" Hmm. You have bee unusually quiet Doflamingo. What are you planning?" Law asked

" Oh. Absolutely nothing. Just one hundred ways to kill this bitch." he replied calmly

Sanji was suddenly surrounded by flames

" Calm down Sanji..." I said in an icy calm voice with a smile "...because if he tries any of that shit with me, I'll rip his dick off and shove it so far up his ass that he'll be coughing up piss for a month. He shouldn't worry about the cum though, its not like he'll ever get a boner because I doubt that a woman would want any man that got his ass handed to him by someone just about 3 decades younger than him."

" Ah. Rouge-swan is beautiful when she threatens someone~" Sanju swooned

" That's not beautiful. That's scary." Ussop shivered

" Leave the morbidness to me please." Robin joked

" No promises." I smiled

" Well I guess there goes your one hundred plans." Law said

" Nope. It was risen to one thousand." Doflamingo replied

" Enough guys. Next question. **If your could change your nickname on your bounty poster, what would you change it to . Also, what would your nickname be, as well as your bounty price.** "

" Straw Hat Luffy is fine with me." Luffy answered

" I hate it when people call me ' Pirate Hunter'. I don't hunt pirates anymore since I am one. I would prefer Demon Blade Zoro."

" A shitty name for a shitty swordsman such as yourself. Mine would be Prince Sanji. To attract all the ladies."

" That's worse than your original name. Which was horrible to begin with." Zoro snorted

" To prevent you from fighting...I shall go now. Cat Burgalar is cute, but Lightning Theif would be fricking cool!"

" I want people to see me more that just a sniper. I want to be known as someone powerful like a god. I want to be God Ussop!"

I wiped sweat the suddenly appeared on my forehead as I thought ' you have no damn idea.'

" I am not a ' Candy Cotton Loving Pet'. Hell! I'm not a pet to begin with! How about Mad Doctor Chopper. I'm not mad and I never will be, but I want my name to strike fear into the hearts of people that see me. I'm tired of being called a raccoon dog. I want to be respected."

" That adorable Chopper." I said

" Ahh! Calling me adorable doesn't make me happy asshole!~"

" I don't mind being called Demon Child anymore. Besides, that has been what I have been identified by my entire life. It had grown on me. I have nothing else to call myself. Any other name wouldn't fit with me." Robing answered

" Cyborg Franky is a _super_ for a _super_ guy like me!"

" Being called what I am currently doesn't get under my skin, though, I not longer have skin! Yohoho!"

" So. What about you?" Luffy asked

" Mmm. I dunno really. It all depends on what I do and how much of a threat that stupid world government thinks I am."

" Well, considering that you captured three powerful pirate crews without a hitch singlehandedly...I would say that you would be a big threat." Nami said

" I guess. I'm horrible with names though. Anyway. That is all the time I have left. So. I have a question for YOU THE ASKERS. What do you think my nickname and bounty price would be ! Leave your thoughts and comments when you submit your other questions for these pirates. And new rule ! Be as specific and clear as humanly possible when asking questions. Other than that...Goodnight and pray that the powers of fanfiction allow these pirates to get home safely. Except for the Donquioxte's. The universe can frig them over as much as it likes."


	9. Chapter 9

" My education is not worth permanent back problems." I groaned as I fell into the chair in the basement. Scrolling through my inbox, I deleted some stuff that I should have deleted quite a while ago.

" Sounds like your school work has become stressful." Brook said

" Ugh. The amount of homework I have for two weeks into the year should be considered illegal by law. And I'm not even trying to make a joke this time." I said.

" Fuhuhu. Serves you right." Doflamingo laughed

"Sounds like hell" Zoro said

"Oh. It is. It's my and around 500 others students hell to deal with. Honestly, I'm used to it. It's just that this year the load seems to be heavier than I would like."

" All this talk about school is boring." Luffy whined

"I agree. First question. Oh. And it's for me...wait. there's a second part. It's for the Donquioxtes. Damn. I am being told not to ignore them. Anyway. **If you hate the Donquioxtes so much how come you kidnapped them in the first place. Question for the Donquioxtes, what is your opinion on cats."**

" I kidnapped them because I could and because I wanted to. I didn't have a real reason to. I could send them away and never bring them back if you guys wanted. I mean, I don't have a problem with it. And I'm sure Law wouldn't have a problem with it either."

"Do you gave to be so cold ?" Doflamingo said in mock hurt.

"Oh. I dunno. Do you have to be such a heartless bastard?"

Doflamingo frowned. "Well, at least the next question is for us."

"Also, because there are so many, can you say what needs to be said in short sentences. Then I would have less information to type." I said.

"What do you mean type?" Mami asked

"How do you think I give the answers to the askers? I record the session then type or write out what everyone says and send to to them. They can't hear you. And you can't hear the questions they ask unless it's through me. It's not like some random omnipotent being can just give all of you the power to directly hear what they are asking. This isn't some comic on Tumblr kind of deal. "

"I don't know what Tumblr is nor do I care, but do you have to get so worked up about it." Law asked

"I'm not worked up, I'm stressed out. There's a difference ." I huffed mentally smirking at my Twenty One Pilots reference.

" Can I go?" Sugar asked

" Yeah whatever."

" I think cats are the greatest animals on earth and if anyone says otherwise they deserve to die."

" I'm allergic to cats." Trebol said

" I'm not much of an animal person. But I guess cats are cool." Giolla said

" I don't care." Gladius said flatly

" Cats are gorgeous. The powere of G!" shouted Lao G

Pica, Diamante and Senor Pink shrugged as far as their shoulders would go.

I don't think I brought Dellinger, at least I don't remember bringing him. Did I? I didn't hear him answer anything unless I forgot. Either he's simply not answering or he's still in the One Piece world.

" Well I think-" Doflamingo started before I cut him off

" Next question!" I shouted

" Why do you never let me voice my opinions!" the bird man yelled

" Your voice is annoying and no one cares about your opinion. Besides, they are about as useless as the e and a in tea." I replied

" You seem on edge today. Something wrong?" Nami asked

" Nope. I'm fine. Doflamingo just really pisses me off. Maybe I should send him back and never bring him back. I'll ask the askers. Should I kick Doflamingo and his crew out or should I let him stay?"

" Are you really doing this?" Doflamingo asked

" Yes. Yes I am. Next question. For me. *** evil laugh* Oi Rouge. Have you read this?** Hmm. There's a link. "

I typed it in and raised my eyebrow. Fanfiction? I looked at the genres. I hated romance but considering the evil laugh i was curious and decided to read it anyway. 10 chapters wouldn't take me long to get through.

As i read, I wondered why did the asker laugh evilly. It seemed fine to me.

" Rouge what are you-"

" Shh!"

" Rouge-wan can you please-"

" Quiet!"

" Can you tell us what you are-"

" Cease your talking at once!"

" Why are you-"

" I said cease it!"

" Can you just-"

" NOPE!" I shouted throwing my hands into the air as I arrived at 'that' part of chapter 10 " NOPE NOPE NOPE. NOT DOING IT. IT REFUSE TO DO IT. NOPE NOPE NOPE!"

I stood out of my chair, walking around the room with my hands in the air and shaking my head shouting " NOPE NOPE NOPE."

Now I see why the asker laughed evilly.

" I NORMALLY OKAY WITH CERTAIN YOAI SHIPS BUT THIS...THIS IS NOT OKAY. THIS IS..THIS IS JUST A SHIT TON OF NOPE! ALL ABOARD THE NOPE TRAIN TOOT TOOT!"

As I ranted, the others looked at me with confused expressions but i paid no attention them

" F THIS QUESTION! F THIS STORY! I'M NOT FINISHING THIS. I REFUSE TO FINISH THIS. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME FINISH THIS."

And yet I still finished the chapter. I hate myself sometimes.

" Okay! I am in a completely awful mood and at this moment in time, I will not be taking any bull crap from anyone. So just answer the question okay!" I shouted

Everyone simply nodded their heads.

I was in too an awful mood to read the questions with decency.

" Sanji. Why are you always swooning over ladies?"

" Cause he's a pervert."

I shot Zoro a murderous glare, then turned back to Sanji.

" I have been doing it so long I forgot why." Sanji simply said

" The next one is for the feather brained bastard but because my night and most likely the rest of my week had been thrown off I'm going to ignore it despite it being decent questions. To be honest I wasn't going to cut you off this time. So you can thank the asker that asked me to read that...thing for destroying your opportunity at voicing your opinion."

" Damn it." he hissed

" Last question is for Law and then the response for the question I asked in the last chapter. Law, if you were to ever go back in time, what time period would you go back in. Before Flevance or During your time with the...actually, since the others don't know about your past except me, Bepo and the askers...I shouldn't say this in the front of everyone else."

" Wise decision." Law said

" Alright, I have to end here. So the question I'm asking you is should I let the Donquioxtes stay or throw him out permanently?"

" Wait. You haven't said what the answer for the previous question was!" Luffy reminded me

" Oh yeah. Hmm. Let me see. Mad Authoress Spirit Rouge. Heh. Not bad. I actually like it. Mad Authoress does have a nice ring to it. The bounty...whoa...that's more numbers than I can even count."

" What. What is it?" Luffy asked excitedly

" The sum of all the bounties of all the pirated trapped in my basement." I read

" WHAT!" they all shouted

" That would make sense seeing as how you captured pirates easily that the marines had hell trying to catch." Law said

" But all I did was knock you guys out with a metal bat!"

" EXCACTLY!" they shouted once again.

" New question along with the previous one. According to the name for Rouge provided by the asker, what would you assume her powers or abilities would be? That includes Haki, Devil fruits or any other power boost you could think of. Or, would it just be her metal bat and upper body strength?" Doflamingo asked

" Hey ! Only I get to ask the askers!"


	10. Chapter 10

_" Uggghhh."_ I groaned mentally " _I have soooo much work to do. It's going to be hell with those pirates when they arrive. I shouldn't have procrastinated but what can I say?...nothing actually."_

" Ooooh. Mmmmmyyy. Liiiiiiiife." I groaned and fell into the chair as the pirates arrived in my basement.

" What's wrong with your life?" Nami asked

" Everything."

" Fufufu." Doflamingo chuckled

" Shut up bird. You'll never understand my day to day burdens."

" Alright everyone listen to me. Rouge seems very stressed out. I know she hasn't been the best hostess but dealing with a bunch of dangerous pirates isn't exactly a walk in the park. So, when Rouge asks a question to someone, only that person will answer. No side comments from anyone else." Nami said

" No way! I am not missing this opportunity to get back at that brat while she's most vulnerable!" Doflamingo protested

" Don't even bother Nami. He doesn't listen to anybody. It's like everything he says goes in one ear and comes out the next. I'm just going to have to grin and bear it. So let's get started. By the way, I'm not going to say the full question, just the jist of it...damn it."

" What wrong?" Nami asked

" The first thing I see is that someone wants to keep Doflamingo."

The Donquioxte pirates started cheering. I need a loophole...I got it!

" Heh. Continue with your premature celebration guys. Mind you I said keep Doflamingo not Doflamingo and company. So even if Doflamingo stays, which I hope not. The rest of you have to leave." I smirked, my mood improving

The pirates stopped cheering and looked at me.

" Next question." Diamante seethed

" Certainly...damn it. This person wants to keep the crew. Crap."

" So I guess it's either Doffy staying or all of us staying if we win." Gladius smirked...I think

I sighed. " This next question is for me apparently. If I captured everyone except Dellinger, what is he doing? Also, for Doflamingo, why are you always wearing that pink feather coat...yeah why are you?"

" To be honest, I've had this thing for so many years that I forgot how I even got it. It just feels so natural upon my shoulders. And if I take it off I feels as if one of my body parts is missing." he answered

" Must've been a really long time then. Anyway...about Dellinger...honestly I don't know what he's doing nor do I care. In fact, when I got these guys I didn't even see him there."

 _MEANWHILE_

 _" I wonder where everybody is?" Dellinger thought. " I went to do a simple task for the young master. Kill Bellemey and everyone just up and disappeared. I knew I should have just instantly killed him instead of telling him want Doffy had in store. No matter."_

 _" Hello!" Dellinger shouted, cupping his hands over his mouth. The hybrid looked around puzzled._

 _" If no one comes out then I will chew on the furniture and drill holes in the walls with my horns!" He shouted again._

 _" Baby 5 I neeeeeeed you." Deliinger yelled. When Baby 5 didn't instantly rush towards Dellinger, he knew something was wrong._

 _Now that he got a good look at the place, he noticed that it looked as it there was a fight._

 _" It seems that while I was gone I missed a fight...damn it. Considering this, they must have gone off the island to torture the poor fool who attempted to fight them. Have to keep the name of the Donquioxte's clean after all."_

* cough* the irony*cough*

" I'm sure Dellinger is fine." I waved dismissively." Next question. Crap. 2 points for keeping all of them. Ya know what. If you want to keep ALL of the Donquioxtes, then maybye you should ask ALL of the Donquioxtes a question. No matter, hopefully none of you gets to stay and if by chance only Doflamingo. The only exception would be Sugar since she has a die hard fan who would probably destroy me if I kick Sugar out. Also, answer to second question. I am not bringing Delinger here. I am too lazy and I'd rather not take my chances with someone who can bite me to death and not even ton-fa style like Hibari from Katekyoshi Hitman Reborn. I mean he would literally _bite_ me to death."

" But-"

" Next Question! Crap! 3 points for all. That means 3 for all and 1 for just Doflamingo." I groaned. This is not going as planned

" Fufufu. It seem we have quite the fanbase." the bird chuckled.

" Can it. This is not over."

" Yet."

I huffed." The next question asks where is Monet, Vergo and Cesar... well, Vergo...is dead. Monet...is dead. And Cesar...is also dead."

" WHAT!" Doflamingo and Sugar shouted at the same time, but probably for different reasons.

" Just kidding Just kidding. Cesar isn't dead. Only Vergo and Monet. Law FINALLY killed Vergo and Cesar killed Monet thinking that the heart he had in his hands was either Smoker's or Law's. I don't remember."

" How can you say that with a smile on your face and so calmly. You're just like Robin!" Ussop shouted from behind my head. Maybe unleashing him wasn't such a good idea.

" Nooo! My little sister! " Sugar cried

" Monet was her sister?" Law asked

"More liked adopted if you ask me." I answered

" Do you want to continue?" Doflamingo asked

Sugar nodded slightly. A firm look on her face. With that look, it wouldn't be hard to remember that Sugar was 22 and not 5.

I sighed. "Alright. This next question is pretty long winded. So basically they want us to watch and react to a so called kids show called Happy Tree Friends. And they especially want to hear Law Luffy and Doflamingo responses. I'm pulling it up now so I'll watch it first then let you watch."

I opened up YouTube and pulled up the show, clicking the first episode that I saw. I just sat there with the straightest and emotionless of faces watching. It was about fifteen minutes later when I was pulled back to earth by Law's voice.

"So?"

"Eh. Seems pretty normal to me. I dunno why they were freaking out about how I would be completely shocked. Though I wouldn't show this to kids under the age of 13 or Luffy. Definitely not Luffy. Other than that it seems completely and totally fine. I mean I actually enjoyed it and was going to watch more when we're done. I think that because I've seen worse all of the cringe and gore this was supposed to inflict on my soul was nullified into nothing more than a failed attempt. Because of all the things ive seen and read befiorehand i became resistant to the kind of things that would make people cringe at level 250. Like Llama with Hats. I didnt even bat an eyelid. I even cried at the end and i dont cry at all. Like about 1 or 2 percent of things can make me cry. Anyway compared to Another...this is a joke...I'm actually disappointed. Though the deaths were creative and interesting. Kinda like Another"

" Now that you say you're diappointed with this...i dont think I want to watch this." said Doflamingo

"And I don't care. Although I have to ask what made you resistant to gore."Law asked

"I'm not completely resistant to gore. Its just that it doesn't bother me as much anymore. It has to be Another level to get me to cringe or hop aboard the Nope Train."

"You keep mentioning this Another. What is it?" Doflamingo asked

"Hmmm? Oh. Yeah. Another is this anime that I watched and its gory. Almost everyone ...there are a lot of anime were everyone dies."

"What is anime?" Law asked

"That my friend. Is for _Another_ time. And yes. That pun was totally intended" I smiler.

"May we watch the show considering that the asker wanted us to watch as well?" Robin asked

"Yeah. No. It'll take up too much time and I'm keeping this precious gem of a show to myself due to its obvious failed attempt at gore.""

"I see. Well shall we move on to the next question then?"

I nodded. "Yo Law. You need some fries with all that salt you got?"

"Excuse me what?"

I sigh " Why are you so salty? As in terms of personality."

"I am not salty."

" Yes you are."

"Not I'm not."

"Yes you are

"No I'm not."

"Yes. You. Are."

" No. I'm . Not."

" Yes."

" No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"Yes."

"Aha!"

"Damnit."

"Next question. Yes! Finally! Someone says get rid of the Donquioxtes!" I say with my hands in the air and a smile on my face

"And including this one how many questions are left?" Doflamingo asked

Three.

"Crap!" I say my body and face frozen in position.

"That's what I thought."

"Anyway, if all if you were animals, what would you be?" I asked

"But aren't all of yo already animals? I mean, humans are mammals and mammals are a kind of animal." Chopper asked, head tilted in a cute way.

"That makes sense." I said, putting my hand to my chin and the other on my side." Also no. No marines. That would he a terrible. Idea. All those you wants marines the answer is no. *sigh* next question...huh... I now have to tally up the scores for keeping Doflamingo here or not."

The Donquioxtes crossed their fingers.

" 3 for all 2 for one 1 for none. Everyone is is staying."

"Yes!"

"But! Now that askers are going to have to ask ALL of you questions from time to time. I don't want basement space taken up for no reason. This is the last question, which us really not a question but a basic outline of some of the abilities I may or may not uqve used to capture you.'

"Well?"Doflamingo pressed

"Wait. Armament and Observation Haki. Weapon is Metal Bat and stealth like an assassin.. High upper body strength. Seems legit. They think its weird I was able too walk around with a metal bat without anyone noticing and they also want to know how I even managed to pull this off."

" Yes Rouge. How did you manage to do so?" Doflamingo asked

"I can't reel you yet. I want to see what the askers think. My question to you guys is this. How do you think, based off the information just given, think I managed to pull thus off. Make it breif. Okay? Till next time."

 **A/N: I am sorry for the later than late update. Things have gotten hectic. Also my WiFi kept shutting off every time I tried to save. And only when I I tried to save. I had to reboot so many times.. I had to re write certain parts 5 times. Sorry for the crappy ending. It was better and funnier the first time but stupidvwifi got in the way and I lost it. I got mad and decided to give you this instead. Sorry again**


	11. Chapter 11

" Hey guys." I said, sitting down in my chair.

" Wow. You're early." Usdop commented.

" Yeah I know. But I have to give out a message from my boss."

" You're boss?" Nami questioned

" Yes. My boss. The real Rouge. I am simply a representative. Also, she wanted to let you know that this basement is fake."

" What. So this whole time its been a lie?!" Nami yelled

" Hmmm. Not exactly. You are still at Rouge's house. But it doesn't have a basement. This ' basement' is simply a void. You are hallucinating this void is a basement. We are actually floating in mid air. An endless landscape where time has absolutely no meaning."

" How is this void when we are at someone's house!" Ussop shrieked

" I knew something was suspicious about her." Law mumbled

"You see. Your purpose hear is to entertain us. Just entertain us as you embarras yourselves and we squeeze all of your most private and confidential thoughts and secrets out of you" I smirked

" How dare you do that to my friends!" Luffy shouted angrily.

I began to laugh evilly, which soon turned into a normal laugh as a said. " Oh my gosh. I can't believe you really fell for that! I thought you knew me by now and all the crazy crap like that!"

" I want to be mad at you but I cannot. I know you just enough." Nami said.

" I...honestly should have expected that." Ussop added.

" How come you guys aren't the least bit upset or surprised."Sanji asked, looking in the direction if the Donquioxte pirates.

" It was as Rouge said. We know her. Not completely or on a personal level. But just enough to know this was fake." Doflamingo answered.

" By the way. A hurricane is head towards my country, and since there's a canal in my back yard, my house is more than likely to get flooded. I have to pack everything and move. And where I'm going has no WiFi so I won't be able to read any messages. When I get back home, the power and water will most likely be off. And power and water may not turn on for a few I put my stuff high enough so water doesn't destroy them" I said

" Ha. Its another one of your tricks isn't it. Well, I'm not falling for it this time." Ussop hiffed as he crosses his arms and looked away.

" No. I'm serious. I wouldn't joke about something that could potentially cost me everything I have. I have to move out of my house as to not drown or get killed or something like that. Hurricanes are deadly and dangerous and to be honest I'm scared.. I could lose everything. Every. Single. Thing. I've only been in category 1 and 2. This is category 4. I just want- I just want..." I trailed off as tears began to form in my eyes.

Ussop looked at me apologetically.

I sniffled." So I'll be answering these questions when the hurricane is over. I cant answer now because i have to prepare and im on a time limit. I only have enough to let you know the can ask questions after I return and everything is normal."

Everyone nodded.

" To the askers out there who are going to be affected by this storm. Stay safe and I'll see you when I return."


	12. Chapter 12

"Guess who's baaaaack~"I said in a creepy singsong voice.

Cue to everyone groaning.

"Now. Let's get to business. I can't wait to watch *cough* embarass*cough* you answer these questions that I'm sure people have been dying to see you answer as I *cough* torture*cough* provide commentary. Whew! That was a nasty cough."

Everyone's groaned and rolled their eyes again. Knowing that this is going to be nothing short of hell. At least if I have anything to say about it.

"Awww. That's so sweet!" I shouted.

"What's so sweet?" Nami asked.

" My first messages were people telling me to stay safe and hoping I wouldn't get hurt. That's so kind."

" Speaking of which, how'd it go?"

"...that's.. ..something I never want to talk about...Ever."

Everyone winced at my flat tone.

" Next question. What would be your dream ship if you had one? "

" I think I speak for everyone when I say we already have our dream ships. But of course ours is the most _super! Ow!"_ said Franky.

"What's your opinion on the Whitrbeards. Nope! That's a trigger question. Moving on...what would you do were the opposite gender for the day? PSH. That's easy. Tell myself to wake the f up and get my mind out of the gutter. Of course its been settling in the sewage for a while but nothing that a little air dry can't fix. What about you guys? " I said cheerfully.

" Eyebrow ya exe has crashed. Brook ya exe has crashed. Penguin ya exe has crashed and Shachi ya exe has crashed." Law deadpanned.

" Rrrright...um moving on. If all of you had a pet. What would it be.?"

" Sencho doesn't like animals. But Bepo is an exception." Penguin stated

" It would obviously be a flamingo." Doflamingo said smiling.

" OF course it would be. Probably just to boost your unhealthily large ego." I said, folding my arms.

Doflamingo frowned. The vein in his forehead throbbing very noticeably. I felt like he was slowly losing it with me. But...who wouldn't"

"This last one is a response to a question I asked in the session before last." I said

" Ending already?" Zoro, who was sleeping most of the time, raised an eyebrow.

" Yeah. There we're only a few questions to begin with. Besides. I think it for the best. I'm still pulling my life back together and it wouldn't help if I was bombarded by a bunch of questions."

" What do you mean you? We're the ones who have to answer!" shouted Trebol.

" Yeah. But all the questions are sent to MY email inbox. Can you imagine having a bunch of messages constantly being backed up and chocking your system? When I first turned my phone on it practically ignited. Ding ding ding ding ding. I haven't caught up to anything yet and messages from other sources are still being piled on. So. If you excuse me. I'll remind the askers what the question I asked was."

"Question:...just read session *cough* chapter*cough* 10. The response given...a mix of armament and observation. Maybe a coating of armament on the bat and use observation to stay hidden until I reach the right spot for the KI." I said

" How would observation be used to keep hidden?" Ussop asked

" Maybe you can detect when another person is coming and hide in an area that is out of their range." I suggested.

"Seems fair." Usspp said.

"Goodnight guys. I yawned."


	13. Chapter 13

_Crack!_

"I'm okay." I groaned holding my ankle

" What did you do?" asked Law

" Um...jumped down the stairs, landing on my ankle and causing my face to be one with the tile?"

Law sighed and rolled his grey eyes.

I got up, wincing, telling myself to walk the pain off.

" Now, lets-"

 **" I am so glad your safeeee! SCREEECHH!: XD Anyways, question question! What would be the most embarrassing clothes that someone could make you wear : For everyone"**

" AHHH! I'ts a ghost!" Ussop screamed in fright

" Ya didn't have ta scream ya know!" I yelled, putting my pinkie finger in my ear to regulate the " ear " pressure. Get it 'ear' 'air' No? I'm sorry.

" You know you this person is?" asked Nami

" Nope." I replied popping the 'p'

" Then who-"

" It was an asker." Law interrupted Doflamingo

" How?" Doflamingo asked.

Everyone turned their heads towards me.

" What? Don't look at me. I'm just as confused as you are. Hey! Look at the bright side. At least I don't have to read messages off my ph- MY PHONE!" I screamed, rushing back up the stairs when I noticed I didn't have it. I may not need it to read messages anymore, thank god, but I still need it to listen to music. My only portal away from the burdens of my life and soul.

I scramble into my room and tripped over the carpet and landed with a thud. Shaking off the dull ache, I launch myself across my bed to reach the other side. Picking up the device, my face fell so low it could reach the other side of the earth directly underneath me. It was on 10 freaking percent! Next to the phone lay a broken charger.

I inhaled many deep breaths. My fury rolling off me in silent waves. I turned the phone off to preserve the little life left in it and slowly walked downstairs.

" What was the question? I forgot."

Everyone shrugged their shoulders, choosing to ignore my emotionless face, a wise decision.

 **"I'm so glad you're safe! Anyways, question time! For the Donquixote's, what's your favorite foods? For Sugar I know it's grapes so do your second favorite.**  
 **THIS IS ONLY FOR LE FABULOUS DONQUIXOTE FAMILY"** another voice rang out

" My second favorite food is grapes. It is also the third and fourth and fifth and sixth and seventh and eight and ninth and ten-"

" Alright. I think we get it!" I yelled. " Birdman, what's yours."

" The souls of the innocent."

"...Diamante..."

" Sunflower seeds."

" Gladius."

" Steak. Medium rare."

" Pica."

" I don't have a favorite food."

" Giolla."

" ...confidential information..."

" ...Trebol."

" Sausages."

Everyone waited for another question to be blurted out at random, but none came.

" Whelp, it seems that this is it for this session BUT before we go. I have an announcement to make."

Everyone looked at me.

" For this entire thing that we're doing, we've only done questions. So for the next five-ten sessions we'll be doing something different. For the next couple of days or however long, I dunno, I'll be plaguing your lives with as much music as I can. Then!..." I pointed to the fourth wall "...you, the askers are going to say ONE word. Then!..." I pointed to the pirates "... you will have to sing a chorus or a few lines of the song that corresponds with the words being said. You have ten seconds to think of a song then sing."

" But." Doflamingo said

" Right. BUT. You will have to sing while doing a dare provided by me and the askers."

" This applies to you as well right?" Law asked

" Unfortunately." I said not dropping my cheery voice " Because humans are hard headed or simply don't read, some will still ask questions. So, if you ask a question it will not be answered. Everyone understand?"

" No." Luffy said

" Of course. Look Luffy, all you need to know is that you will be playing a mystery game with the mystery people."

" Oh! I understand now." Luffy smiled

" Good! And see you next time!" I said, giving a big one armed wave.

 **Sorry for the uncharacteristically short chapter, but I had nothing to work with. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to the words you come up with. Also, I may not update for another while since I have no wifi at home and I'm using someone else's desktop until my service is restored ( the first while was because I was lazy # NO REGRETS #SORRY NOT SORRY). Even so, I still wouldn't be able to update for a while because my finals started Thurday and will continue on for most of next week. So I'm going to bed, or study , or update a different fanfiction...which ever comes first.**


	14. Chapter 14

" Hey." I greeted, plopping myself down into my chair holding my bat.

" Hey." They greeted back.

" You want to hear the good news first or the bad news first."

" Bad."

" Hmmm. I think I'm just gonna say it all out one time. No questions or any other side comments while I'm talking. You can do that afterwards. Now...I'm stopping these sessions and sending you back home."

" WHAT!"

" I expected that."

" Why!" asked Nami

I scratched the back of my head sheepishly. This was not going according to plan. Heh. Not that I even had a plan to begin with.

" Look guys. Let's face it. I can't keep you trapped down here forever. You have adventures to go on and asses to kick. I also have a life I need to get to. besides. There's nothing I hate more than repeating the same schitck...shtick? Ugh. Repeating the same thing over and over again. I've been noticing that. I tried to change it up with the song thing I was going to do, but I realized I'm simply rehashing the same thing I wanted to avoid. It's not that I don't like doing this. It's just...boring. Ya know. Like if you were stuck living the same day over and over. You can change it up as much as you like but in the end you're just repeating the same process over and over. I know some of you, the Donquioxte's in familiar are probably ecstatic about this. Also, I'm too lazy to commit myself to keeping these up. Things have been getting hard for me. I don't have all the time that I used to anymore and even then I didn't have a lot of me time. Understand?"

All of the pirates gazed at me with understanding but disbelieving eyes.

" I'm sorry. I didn't want to have to do this. And what makes it worse is that some of you never even got asked a question once. Either that or your question was too cringy and embarrassing."

I twirled the bat in my hand, ready to knock them out on send them back home. Raising it over Luffy's head, tears threated to fall from my eyes. I didn't want him to be awake when I knocked the crap out of his friends.

" I'm sorry." I whispered as I brought the bat down


	15. Chapter 15

" Why are we back here? I thought we are done." asked Law

" Oh. We are. Heh. Well, at least I am. I am simply asking the askers if they want to take my place as your hostess." I replied.

" Wait, so there's going to be more of these?" asked Nami

" Hopefully, if anyone is willing to take it on. Though, whoever this new person is, will never be as great as a hostess as me."

" I'm pretty sure the new one will be much less torturous." Doflamingo said flatly

" I was not torturous, I was simply exploiting your- actually, now that I think about it..."

" My point exactly."

I waved the birdman off. " Whatever. Whoever is interested in taking my place can message me privately and I'll give them the details."

" What details! The only thing you are literally doing is asking us a bunch of ridiculous questions and then laugh at our expense." growled Doflamingo

" Details that you don't need to worry about. What you do have to worry about is the personality of the potential host or hostess. They could be better, or maybe even worse."

" I doubt anyone could get worse than you."

" If only you knew. I know sooooo many people who are worse than me by far. My actions during the session were just the tip of the iceberg, so imagine me being completely me then times it by 1000."

Everyone visibly cringed.

" My point exactly. Anyway, I'm gonna miss you all. Be good to the new host or hostess. Heh. If I could find one."


End file.
